Nobody planned your bachelorette. You can still ask.
WrapSheet blog
The part of a bachelorette party I'd miss most isn't the destination. It's someone saying, "I've got this. Tell me which Saturday works." I can understand being sad when that offer never comes.
In a weddingplanning thread posted yesterday, still in this morning's hot listing, a bride said nobody had offered to organize hers. Hearing her fiance's best man discuss his bachelor party made it hurt more. She also described painful family circumstances around the wedding, so this wasn't simply disappointment over a missing night out.
Several commenters told her they had initiated their own parties. That was useful. I was less keen on advice that treated her sadness as something she should immediately get over. One commenter understood the particular sting of always having to make the first move.
You can know your friends aren't mind readers and still wish someone had thought of you.
Ask for the part you actually want
If what's missing is a little help, I'd start with one person rather than a disappointed announcement to the entire wedding party. People who don't know each other may each assume somebody else is handling it. Or they may genuinely have no idea you want a party.
For example: "I'd really love a local dinner before the wedding. Would you be up for finding a restaurant and asking everyone which date works? I can help, but I'm feeling worn out by organizing things."
That gives your friend something they can answer. "Can you plan my bachelorette?" might mean making one reservation to you and managing a four-day trip to them. I'd rather explain the modest plan before either of us starts worrying about flights.
If they can't do it, ask whether a smaller task would work. Accept a no if that's still the answer. You may be disappointed, but one unavailable friend doesn't tell you everything about how much you're loved.
A wedding-party title doesn't settle the budget
A separate X post this morning describes a maid of honor being handed expected expenses, including a roughly $900 bachelorette weekend before flights. That's the poster's account, not something I can independently verify. It also isn't what the Reddit bride asked for.
I wouldn't lump those two women together. Wanting a friend to arrange dinner is a reasonable thing to discuss. Assigning a friend an expensive weekend because she agreed to stand beside you is a much bigger request.
Before booking anything, ask people privately what they can comfortably spend, including getting there. Ask about time, too. Someone might afford a hotel and still be unable to take Friday off. If the plan doesn't fit, change it before deposits make everyone defensive.
The person organizing shouldn't have to front costs they can't carry. Get agreement on who pays what before a reservation goes on anybody's card.
You can organize your own and still enjoy it
I'd happily go to a bachelorette the bride arranged herself. I wouldn't sit there wondering why nobody else sent the invitation. Dinner and dancing can be the whole plan. You don't have to buy everyone matching things to make it count.
If you're the friend who notices nothing is happening, a small offer can mean a lot: "Want me to get a dinner together?" Only offer what you can manage. Nobody needs to promise a weekend to be thoughtful.
Afterward, thank the person who chased the dates or made the reservation. "Thank you for getting everyone together. I really needed that evening" is plenty. You don't need another gift purchase to acknowledge the effort.
I hope that bride gets a night she enjoys. Asking for it herself may not erase the hurt of having to ask. It can still give her something good to look forward to.